


Clandestine Happiness

by Jas1922



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Baekxing, Minor Xiuchen, mafia!au, police!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 18:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jas1922/pseuds/Jas1922
Summary: Jongin lost his family to the Mafia and so he loathes anything to do with the triads. Kyungsoo is Jongin’s best friend (and maybe more). He also happens to be one of the leaders of the most notorious gang in Seoul.





	Clandestine Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Story written for Kaisoo Exchange (2017) - ForKadiOnly.  
> 2\. Cross-posted from AFF.  
> 3\. Long one-shot.

 

Jongin is mad. Tired too, but angry more so.  
  


In fact, mad doesn’t even fully justify the extent of how infuriated he is with how his day has gone. It had been horrible, for the lack of other words he can use to describe it. He and his team had spent hours chasing shadows, being taken for a ride; like dogs running hopelessly after a bone on a stick held by a cruel master who never intended to hand the snack over –– a blatant mockery. They had been made out to look like fools, not just today, but for quite some time now.  
  


He had been disrespected. His team had been disrespected. His profession had been disrespected.  
  


Jongin loosens his tie and pops open the top two buttons of his dress shirt, stepping off the curb beside where he has parked his Audi. He takes a second to adjust the silk scarf wrapped around his neck using the reflection in the window of his car. As abnormal as it sounds, he never goes a day without that piece of cloth, not even when the rest of his outfit clashes with the need for that accessory.

  
He has his reasons.

  
He hurries his way down the familiar street of shophouses. The only thing that could possibly brighten the remainder of his day (or more accurately, night) lies just a couple of units down. His solace and the pillar of strength he is so dependent on, though he doesn’t want to admit it –– Do Kyungsoo.

  
Jongin feels the corner of his lips curl up at the mere thought of his pocket-sized best friend and he extends his strides in a bid to reach the other quicker. The promised night of popcorn and Marvel movies marathon could not have sounded more enticing than at this moment and given the context of today.

  
His unit in the police force had been looking forward to busting a drug operation at noon –– one that they have been quite fortunate in getting a tip-off on. To this date, no one apart from their captain, Sehun, knows who this source is – the person supplying them with insider news to the triads. But if the captain does not see the need in letting Jongin and his teammates know this piece of information yet, then surely they will not ask.

  
Obviously their field mission had not concluded successfully –– both gangs meeting up for the exchange had taken off by the time he, Baekhyun and Yixing had stormed into that warehouse backed by officers from their secondary unit. The trio was met with only half lit cigarettes littering the ground, a neatly folded fifty-dollar bill and a small sachet of Methamphetamine placed by the windowsill. Undeniably, the gangs had left the items behind on purpose to mock them.  
  


Yet again, the police had been one step too late; left chasing the ghosts of the most notorious mafia in the city, EXO –– an underground stronghold of what the government fears to consist of thousands of men.  
  


Jongin’s team, made up of Sehun, Baekhyun, Yixing and Junmyeon, has been tracking the gang for almost a year now. Dependent on the tips they receive from their informant and their diligence in researching the many dealings EXO makes with shady business partners, they have worked their asses off to try and bring down the organization.  
  


They fall short every single time.  
  


It’s almost as if the mafia themselves were monitoring the police’s every move, to pull the rug from under them whenever they so long as come within touching distance.  
  


The main door to unit #12 was unlocked as usual, welcoming Jongin to step over the threshold and into the warmth he is grateful for having because of the chills of winter outside. Just in time too, because Kyungsoo enters from the back door (he assumes from disposing the day’s trash at the dumpster in the back alley). The other still has his back turned away from him.  
  


 _Cute._  Jongin smiles at the sight, feeling his spirit lifting already.  _“And you deny you like Kyungsoo more than as a best friend.”_  The offhanded comment made by Baekhyun earlier in the day, when his colleague had caught him staring a little too long at his phone’s home screen, which conveniently was a photo of Kyungsoo having both his cheeks pinched sideways (by Jongin no less), resurfaces in his mind. He shakes off the thought with a slight blush dusting his cheeks and takes a step towards the other.  
  


“There better be nothing wrong with tomorrow’s deal. Got that? Tell King too.”   
  


Jongin raises his eyebrow at the malice and hostility he hears in Kyungsoo’s voice, the tone used not at all familiar to him. To him, the elder has always been soft-spoken and calm, even when provoked; nothing ever makes him blow up really.  _What’s with the seriousness this time?_  
  


He cranes his neck to try and sneak a peek at the person Kyungsoo is addressing, but all he catches is a glimpse of a short man decked in shades and a black leather jacket before the door shuts.  _Cheshire grin_. He tries to commit to memory the face of the guy who has angered Kyungsoo just in case he is called up for best friend duties and he needs to beat someone up. Just kidding, of course.  
  


“Jongin!” Said best friend jumps in shock when he spins around. Hand pressed against the spot above his heart, Kyungsoo’s eyes dart to the closed door for a second before settling on a bemused-looking Jongin once more. “You’re here early.” The other comments. “Wasn’t expecting you for another hour or so.” Kyungsoo doesn’t move closer for some reason and Jongin’s smile falters. He doesn’t like the distance between them.    
  


“I had a bad day at work. I’ll tell you more later.” He juts his bottom lip out into a pout and strides over quickly to smother the elder in a hug. “Thought you could cheer me up and make me happy again.” He lets out a contented sigh at the familiar feeling of having Kyungsoo in his arms.  
  


The latter chuckles and wraps arms of his own around Jongin’s waist, almost hesitantly, with an ounce of shyness.  
  


Normal best friends don’t usually hug like this. Both know that.  
  


Both guys also know the weight of truth underlying those last words Jongin lets out, but neither makes a move to acknowledge that perhaps their relationship extends to that of beyond best friends; neither dares to take a step forward into unchartered territory, knowing that doing so could possibly upset the balance between them.  
  


“Come on.” Kyungsoo separates them with a little reluctance on Jongin’s part and tries to take off his outer layer of clothes. “Let me get out of my coat and we can go upstairs and binge watch Marvel all we want, okay?” Kyungsoo deposits his winter wear on the coat stand before taking to the stairs, climbing up to the second floor where the bedroom is located. Jongin trails closely after the other –– Kyungsoo just like his personal sun, offering warmth that sunflower Jongin cannot go far and long without.  
  


Jongin keeps close to the back of Kyungsoo as they make their way up. “I get to choose which movie!” He demands upon reaching the room, somewhat childishly. Unnecessary, because they both know the elder will always concede to him.  
  


“You baked any extra goodies today?” His mouth waters just at the thought of tasting Kyungsoo’s chocolate fudge cake again. The other might or might not have spoilt Jongin rotten whenever he saves some of his heavenly creations for him. It’s to the point that the younger now expects there to be food waiting for him whenever he drops by.  
  


“Peanut butter brownies, but ––” He was just about to let out a squeal when Kyungsoo presses a finger to his lips. “–– only  _one_  slice for you.” The other stares at him pointedly and Jongin grumbles under his breath. He was already demolishing an entire cake in his mind.  
Kyungsoo owns a modest start-up baking confectioneries, catering for events like weddings and birthday parties on an on-off basis. Jongin used to have the impression that it would be tough business, but the other has repeatedly reassured him that his cash flows are healthy. He supposes it to be so especially since it is practically a one-man show and Kyungsoo’s workplace is conveniently located in his place of residence as well, which would definitely have contributed to significant cost savings, hence the profit margin.  
  


“What’s that about a deal I hear tomorrow anyway?” He asks casually when entering the bedroom, missing the way Kyungsoo stiffens at his words for he was digging through the other’s stack of DVDs, back-facing the elder. Kyungsoo was changing into more comfortable clothes by the closet.  
  


“The guy you were speaking to ––”  _Found it!_  Jongin straightens excitedly and waves his hand holding onto the box set of Age of Ultron before launching himself onto the queen-size bed, “–– did he promise you a discount on the latest stand mixer or what?” He chuckles and pats the spot beside him invitingly. For one who claims he knows Kyungsoo best, Jongin doesn’t think much about the way the other lets out a heavy breath, one exhaled almost in relief.  
  


The elder takes only a fraction of a second to roll his eyes and stride over to snatch the DVD from Jongin before loading it into the home theatre system, dimming the lights as he walks back to the bed. “Something like that yeah...” The younger shifts closer when Kyungsoo finally settles down, latching onto the latter’s arm at once.  _Ahhhh, this is it… So comfortable._  Jongin feels so much better already. There is just something about the other’s warmth that has a soothing effect on him; perhaps it is also how Kyungsoo smells of vanilla all the time.  
  


“He’s the supplier I get most of my goods from. This morning’s fruits weren’t as fresh as I wanted.” The elder looks down to where Jongin is currently nuzzling against his skin. “He promised me a discounted deal tomorrow as compensation. I have a birthday order due soon that’s why.” Kyungsoo winds on despite it being clear that the younger has already lost interest in the topic.  
  


“Yes, my cooking mama.” Jongin teases. “Only you would be so particular on such stuff.”  
  


“I said to stop calling me after that mobile game.” The other’s half-amused and half-annoyed snort effectively ends the conversation as the movie plays.  
  


To say that Jongin hadn’t expected Kyungsoo to venture into this line would be a gross understatement. After all, the two first met when both were recruited into the police academy at the end of their teenage years. He even believed that one day they would end up as partners in the field, such was the chemistry shared between them during practices –– he the brawn and the elder the brain. But where Jongin excelled and graduated top of the cohort, Kyungsoo faded during the final individual assessment and eventually left the force after two grueling years.  
  


He once asked the other if he regretted not becoming a policeman, but Kyungsoo has always dismissed his questions with a light smile, saying there are other interests he could pursue. Jongin thinks baking is good for the elder –– it suits him as well. Maybe Kyungsoo was never cut out for the tough career of law enforcement given his quiet and passive nature. Not to mention, he was totally convinced that the other would excel in his business because the chocolate cakes the man makes are 10 out of 10  _to die for_. Church bells ring in the distant background whenever he is fed by Kyungsoo no kidding.    
  


Jongin was a different story. Getting into the police force was a do-or-die for him. He, his mother and two elder sisters had been caught in the crossfire of a massive gang fight years ago. Witnesses to the violence, the three ladies had fallen victim to the syndicate’s  _leave no witness alive_  practice. Jongin had hovered near the line of death himself, sustaining such serious injuries, but he had ultimately survived.  
  


Once he had heard of his family members’ fates during the coroner’s case, Jongin had made up his mind. First, quitting his job as a dance instructor and entering the police academy on impulse, he gradually made his way up the ranks with sheer determination spurred by the motivation of avenging his loved ones.  
  


Despite Kyungsoo dropping out and Jongin being busy with long hours of shift work, the two stayed in constant contact. They never seem to run out of topics to converse in, no matter if they were speaking over the phone late into the night or when they met for dinner after work. That’s how they ended up as what they are today. Also, the elder is an orphan from birth; both Jongin and Kyungsoo have no other close friends so they became each other’s family over time.  
  


His fingers creep up to his neck to play with the edge of his silk scarf unconsciously as the memory of his late mother and sisters surfaces. It was the only belonging he has left of his mother and so he wears it all the time with pride and longing. Weird habit for a guy and also the scarf could be considered quite feminine, but his colleagues know not to judge him for it.  
  


He also knows that Kyungsoo embraces this side of him. Despite not having met Jongin’s mother before, Kyungsoo respects and admires the younger’s love that never quite died along with the memory of his family. Often times, the other had even told him that he was jealous of him for even having loved ones to begin with. Kyungsoo has been alone since birth, until Jongin came into the picture that is.  
  


The younger stifles a yawn, eyes still glued to the TV as the other fondles his ear almost affectionately.  
  


“You want to change out of your work clothes?” Kyungsoo asks.  
  


Jongin only jerks his head slightly. “Nah… will probably head off after we re-watch Civil War and Dr Strange. Morning meeting tomorrow.” The elder merely hums and leaves it at that. The other doesn’t make mention that every time the younger says that, he would end up falling asleep on Kyungsoo’s bed and staying till morning anyway, every single time. Not to say the elder doesn’t like him staying over though. In fact, quite the opposite holds true.  
  


It was when he was laughing at Ironman and the War Machine’s hilarious attempts at picking up Thor’s hammer that Jongin notices the weight of the stare at the side of his face. He looks up, heartbeat skipping when he meets warm brown eyes.  
  


“You wanna talk about your day yet?”  
  


The younger sighs but gives Kyungsoo his full attention, turning away from the TV. “Foiled mission, am I right?”  
  


It’s almost amazing how the other knows him so well; always reads him so effortlessly.  
  


Jongin hums in reply before shifting till his head is now almost propped fully on Kyungsoo’s chest. “It’s so frustrating, Soo. We were so close to catching them in the act.” The latter blinks slowly, and Jongin reads it as a signal to go on. “I mean… drug trafficking is EXO’s biggest arm after all, if we can gather evidence of them participating in a drug exchange, that’s it –– that would surely mark the end for them, then all their other businesses will fall as well. Their prostitution game and so on...”

  
Policemen often times aren’t at liberty to freely discuss ongoing cases in the public domain, but Jongin has never tried to censor all these information from Kyungsoo. He trusts the other to not run his mouth carelessly. Besides, the elder gives good encouragement and advice at times. Also, to whom would the baker tell right?

  
“Tomorrow will make a better day, Ni.” Kyungsoo squeezes his hand comfortingly, which elicits a tiny whine from Jongin. “What are you occupied with tomorrow?”  
  


“Well, Sehun called for a nine o’clock briefing. So fuck him seriously.”  
  


Kyungsoo giggles at the way Jongin’s face scrunches up to show his annoyance.  
  


“But I’m really excited for what’s to come after that!” He sits upright suddenly and clutches the elder’s hands. “Yixing and I did a little digging of our own… I think we are onto something again, Soo! Apparently, there is going to be a top-level meeting within EXO in the evening. All the big guns will be there, all the criminals I want caught will be there for the taking. I can’t wait!”  
  


Jongin leans closer to whisper excitedly. “I’ve already practiced my  _you have the right to remain silent_  speech ––”His face turns solemn at the words, before a smile takes over. “–– it’s great!” He goes on mumbling.  
  


“Does Sehun know about this?” Kyungsoo asks with a lilt in his voice, fingers pausing in action.  
  


Jongin snorts. “We didn’t tell the old fart.” The other doesn’t point out that technically Sehun is still younger than him. “We will probably grab Baekhyun and head on down ourselves. Letting the captain know will only stall the process; he would want to check back with the informant first.”  
  


The younger plops back down on Kyungsoo’s chest dramatically. “I’ll let you know first thing when those son of bitches are arrested.” Jongin exhales deeply and turns his eyes back to the TV. Pretty soon, he was drawn back into the movie and he doesn’t notice that the other has yet to say a word. What he is aware of  _is_  that Kyungsoo’s fingers have stopped fondling his ear, so he lets out a little whine and pokes at the man’s hand.  
  


Jongin preens when the digits move again.  
  


===  
  


When the younger next startles awake, he finds himself draped all over Kyungsoo –– leg swung across to the other side to wrap around the latter’s thighs, his lips dangerously close to the other man’s pair.  _Wow._  Kyungsoo’s lips look even puffier and more delicious from this angle.  _Hungry… Nom nom._  Jongin halts just an inch away and blinks a couple of times to get the sleep out of his mind.  _What the hell are you doing, Kim Jongin?!_  He was just about to kiss his best friend.  
  


His gaze shifts and he notices the wall clock that reads 06:11 to his right. The TV is still on, but a black screen greets him when he lifts his head carefully. They must have fallen asleep midway through Doctor Strange.  
  


Very slowly, Jongin lifts his leg off Kyungsoo and puts a couple of inches distance between them.  _Best friends. Yeah right._  He wants to slap himself because the blatant truth was lying in front of him –– he sees it in the way he wants to kiss Kyungsoo’s lips, to testify if they taste like cherries because of the sweet pink color they take on; he sees it in the way he wants to curl back up and cuddle into Kyungsoo’s side, to never leave the man’s soothing scent and warmth; he sees it in the way he wants to indulge in more at the slight reveal of Kyungsoo’s snow white tummy, to explore more aside from just the patch of skin above the edge of his waistband, to follow the trail of moles and see where it leads.  
  


He slaps himself mentally.  
  


“If I admit I don’t want us to be best friends anymore, will you leave me?” Jongin whispers to the silence of the room, hand gliding up to gently rest on the sleeping man’s cheek. He will never have dared to say that and caress Kyungsoo’s cheek in that manner if the other was conscious.  
  


Jongin climbs off the bed with reluctance because he knows he has a long day ahead and he better get going. Turning off the TV as he passes, he goes through the drawer to retrieve the spare clothes he keeps in Kyungsoo’s closet –– the evidence of his countless stay overs –– before he pops into the shower to quickly wash up, all the while making as little noise as possible so as to not disrupt the other’s sleep.  
  


Once he thinks he can no longer afford to stay under the rain showerhead, Jongin steps out of the stall and dries himself.  _Burberry classic for men._  He sprays himself with the cologne and takes in a big whiff. “Ahhhh…” The sandalwood and vanilla smells delightfully pleasant; smells like Kyungsoo; like home.  
  


Jongin whips his silk scarf around his neck with flair unlike any other and fastens it with the help of the mirror he stands before. Straightening his collar, he reaches down to smoothen out small creases he spots; Kyungsoo must have missed those out when he took the liberty to iron his dress shirts.    
  


 _“Live and love each day like it’s your last.”_  His mother used to tell him that at the start of every morning. Jongin steps out of the bathroom and heads to Kyungsoo, lingering when he crouches down beside the other’s head. “I’ll see you real soon, my sweetheart.” He dares say, before taking off with only a single glance back at the sleeping figure when he reaches the bedroom door.

  
He doesn’t see how Kyungsoo peels open both eyes to leave a wistful glance on his retreating back. He also doesn’t hear the soft “I’m sorry” the other man cowardly lets out –– his apology meant to address more than just one context.

  
===

  
“Excuse me.” He apologizes without thought as yet again he bumps into bodies while squeezing through the crowd in the nightclub. Despite it only being in the late afternoon, quite a number of people have already gathered in the establishment. It gives him a big headache wondering how he is to get the whole bunch out without suffering any potential collateral damage  _if_  what he is about to do will end up in a gunfight. Jongin doesn’t want anyone innocent to follow after his mother and sisters’ footsteps.  
  


The cop spares a glance at the man he has just brushed past when he hears a chuckle and amused “no worries man.”  _Oh…_  Jongin stills for a moment when he recognizes the other –– the man with the cheshire grin. He wasn’t wearing shades this time, but the cheekbones were confirmation enough.  
  


“You look like you are in a hurry? Won’t take up more of your time then.” The stranger inclines his head politely, smirk still on his face, before letting the crowd swallow up his presence.  _Right._  Jongin jolts at the other’s reminder of his purpose in being here. Despite it being a fairly short exchange, every second is crucial so he focuses his mind back on the task at hand.  
  


Yixing was already waiting by the foot of the stairs when he approaches. “Where’s Baekhyun?” Jongin turns to survey their surroundings, right as the said man finally reaches them. They had each used different entrances to enter the premises.  
  


“I’m here! Sorry.” Baekhyun bends forward with a hand on his hips, the other clinging onto Yixing’s arm. “Some dude tried grinding up on me, I almost kicked him in the nuts when he didn’t back off after I told him to.” He huffs. “Hey calm down, tiger. Nothing to get angry about.” Baekhyun coos and pats Yixing on the cheeks when it looked like the latter was about to go confront the one dumb enough to hit on his boyfriend.  
  


“Enough with the lovey dovey stuff.” Jongin all but growls, “We have criminals to catch.” He beckons and leads the way up the stairs, ignoring Baekhyun’s annoying jibe of  _“you’re just saying that ‘cos you’re jealous!”_  His hand creeps to the side of his waist where he keeps his walther handgun. He hears Yixing and Baekhyun doing the same behind him, popping the safety on their own weapons.  
  


They know it’s dangerous for just them three to take on an entire room of mafia elite, but the trio has failed too many times, has been disappointed too often to just walk away now. Desperate times often times call for desperate measures. They have decided that they will answer to Sehun when the time comes for the captain to berate them for their rash decision, if they make it out of here alive of course.   
  


They have since come to terms that they might not.  
  


The second level of the club was weirdly empty, but Jongin is grateful for the lack of spectators when he pulls out his gun. He inches closer to the shut door at the end of the corridor, heart pounding faster with every step he takes. The rest of the rooms on the floor had doors open, so the remaining one drew them in, almost as if there is a big neon arrow sign above, pointing at it.  
  


The younger has the perfect picture in mind –– when he storms in with his teammates, the group of weasels, who will probably be talking shady business, will be so surprised at his sudden appearance, they won’t even have time to get their guns out before Jongin has them yielding on the ground. If he is lucky, they will even be found to be in the possession of drugs, which gives him the automatic reason to cuff them and bring them all in.  
  


Jongin can feel his excitement –– the adrenaline –– coursing through his veins. The finish line is in sight; having toiled for the past one year, they will finally see the fruits of their labor. Jongin just can’t wait to taste sweet revenge really, albeit the fact that he knows their mere capture is  _nothing_  compared to the weight of his loved ones’ deaths.

 

 _“In 3.”_  He mouths to Baekhyun and Yixing standing across him at the other side of the door, and when his last finger folds, he bursts into the room with his gun raised, poised to take out anyone who dares shoot at them.  
  


“Fuck!” Jongin doesn’t contain his rage when he kicks out at the nearest vacant chair. “Fuck! I’m sick and tired of this!” He moves around the empty room, leaving a trail of overturned furniture in his wake. Silence was the one who had greeted them when they barged in, instead of whom they were expecting; they had been played once again.  
  


“I don’t get it.” Yixing shakes his head and stares hard at the slip of paper Baekhyun passes him, the latter having found it left on the only table in the room. “Our source is definitely credible this time –– his own life would be at stake if he were to be caught by his leaders, he sold us this piece of intel in exchange for us handing him freedom –– a lifeline, asylum overseas. He has no reason to lie. Also, only us three know of this, am I not right?”  
  


Sorry. Better luck next time! Jongin pinches his eyes shut in irritation and crushes the piece of paper in his hand, throwing it across the room. The person who had left the note even had the audacity to add in the face of a joker to sign off. “Yes. I have faith that between us, none would have told anyone el ––”  
  


Baekhyun picks up on his sudden pause and advances towards him at once. “What? What is it? Did you tell someone?”  
  


A name keeps popping up in his mind, but Jongin refuses to say it because he doesn’t believe Kyungsoo has anything to do with this –– how can his sweet cooking mama be involved in such matters? Too blind sighted, he files away that thought as it just doesn’t make sense to him.  _Think, Jongin, think!_  He ignores the piercing stares he receives from both Baekhyun and Yixing, both guys who are now just waiting on him.  
  


Digging his hands into his pockets –– an anxious habit –– Jongin’s brows furrow when he feels the outline of a small object he is certain doesn’t belong to him. “What is th ––” Crowding around him, Yixing and Baekhyun gape too when he unfolds his fingers, unveiling a packet of white powder on his palm.  
  


“It’s Methamphetamine.” Yixing confirms as he holds it up against the light for a better look. This specific drug has long since been infamously associated with EXO.  
  


“Those bastards must have planted it on you to mock us again!” Baekhyun growls. “Do you recall bumping into anyone suspicious earlier, when you were on the dance floor?” His grip on Jongin’s arm was one born from hinted desperation.  
  


The younger shakes his head, obviously blaming himself for this oversight. “There were too many people on the dance floor. It could be anyone, unless ––” He says with a weak voice before looking up sharply at the sudden realization.  _Cheshire grin._  “–– the man with the creepy smile!” At the pair’s confused expressions, Jongin nods and claps excitedly. “There is this guy ––”  
  


He recalls seeing the man in the back alley to Kyungsoo’s shophouse and now coincidentally he was found at the club they are in, the club EXO was supposed to convene in, as well? What are the odds?  _Could he have overheard my conversation with Kyungsoo somehow?_  Jongin paces the room in silence with Baekhyun hanging off him. He has a hunch that this is more than a lucky coincidence.  
  


“I might have a lead to go on.” Jongin announces suddenly, “I don’t suppose we can rely on the club’s CCTVs?” With the level of cunning EXO operates on, it’s only child’s play that they would have tampered with the cameras too. At Yixing’s nod, he smiles. Finally. “Then I would need a facial composite professional. Get me Taemin asap.”  
  


===  
  


One week.  
  


Jongin has gone a week without seeing Kyungsoo. He feels like dying. Though, he keeps insisting it is because he misses his best friend’s baking, not his presence. The last conversation he had with the other was when he texted Kyungsoo that he would be busy all week, and to not expect him over anytime soon. Jongin didn’t elaborate further on the new angle he was working on and Kyungsoo had only replied with a sad face emoticon paired with words of encouragement that might or might not have left the younger smiling at his phone a little too fondly.  
  


He constantly ignores the little voice in the back of his head that whispers,  _“just admit that you’re in love with him, Kim Jongin.”_  
  


The workload has piled up incredibly ever since their facial composite guy completed the sketch of the man with the cheshire grin –– he, Yixing and Baekhyun have been probing around with a face, trying to source for more info as to this guy’s identity. Of course, Sehun and Junmyeon were both left in the dark because they know their captain would definitely come down hard on them for all the lack of procedures they are following, whereas Junmyeon will just probably tell on them being the goody-two shoes he is.  
  


Having taken to the streets for the first couple of days, Jongin has been assigned to stay in the office while the couple takes over on the ground. Mainly, his presence is also to ward off suspecting questions from Sehun, while he goes through the hard earned data they have gathered so far.  
  


Jongin lays his head on the desk and plays with the edges of his scarf.  _Tell me what I should do, Mum… Nothing is coming together at the moment. I feel so useless._  He sighs and glances over at his laptop screen. It is quiet moments like this that he appreciates whenever he is feeling down. That and Kyungsoo’s smile, but he doesn’t have the elder with him now, unlike his mother who will always remain with him.  _I miss you so much._  
  


Jongin was just about to let his eyelids fall shut when a heavy file lands right beside his face, startling him to push his chair away from the table abruptly, while unleashing all the expletives he could conjure. “What the actual fuck, Baek?” He snaps.  
  


“We found it. The key to EXO, we found it.” Yixing comes up to stand beside his boyfriend. “But before I tell you more,” Baekhyun continues with a “you should probably prepare yourself first for what you’re about to hear.” Jongin perks up and rolls his roller chair towards the file excitedly. He tries to read both their faces, but Yixing’s poker face hints at nothing. Baekhyun, meanwhile, has his  _I just saw a poor, stray dog and now I’m sad because I don’t have any food on me now_  face on.    
  


Pity (at its finest).  
  


Why Baekhyun was staring at him like that, he doesn’t know.  
  


“Just give it already.” Jongin snatches at the file and flips it open impatiently.

  
“Please keep an open mind, Jongin.” Baekhyun repeats himself before settling into the chair across the younger who waves his hand in the air dismissively because he still doesn’t get the other’s underlying warning.

  
“The Joker?” Jongin snorts and stares at the mugshot of the man grinning maniacally into the camera.  _Cheshire cat man._  He shakes his head.  _Of course._  His mind drifts to the drawing on the small note they had picked up previously.  _We actually found him._  “Can I say how fitting his name is?” That creepy smile would give children nightmares for days. Jongin places the photo face up on his desk, eyes already scanning the papers that accompany it.

  
“Real name, Kim Jongdae.” Yixing leans his weight on the table and gives him the rundown of what he has found with Baekhyun. “An actual convicted felon.” Jongin raises an eyebrow. “Juvenile court threw him in for armed robbery and unintentional homicide when he was just 16.” Baekhyun lets out a low whistle. “Released only after a couple of years for, would you believe this, good behavior and slight suspicion of chronic mental disorder.” Yixing snorts.

  
“He is one-third of EXO’s bermuda triangle.” The latter holds up a finger for him to wait when Jongin looks as if he was going to open his mouth to ask. We found him loitering around Incheon port yesterday, so we followed him.” Jongin’s eyes are practically gleaming as he takes in all the snapshots the pair has managed to capture.  
  


“EXO’s bermuda triangle.” Baekhyun cuts in. Smacking a piece of blank paper on the table, he draws the shape of a triangle on it and writes the word  _EXO_ within the shape. “They are three leaders that lead Seoul’s (if not, the whole of Korea’s) underground. Other petty gangs and their own men refer to them using that name.” Jongin nods as Baekhyun circles out the bottom right tip of the triangle and scribbles  _The Joker_  beside it. “He’s typically the one in-charge of their prostitution ring.”

  
“Also ––” Yixing taps on one of the snapshots they had –– a close-up shot. “–– see this?”

 

Jongin nods. “Concealed weapon?” He tilts his face up in question.

  
“Yes.” Baekhyun confirms. It wouldn’t be obvious to a layperson, but for seasoned professionals like them –– people who use guns on a daily basis, they will be able to recognize the familiar bulge of the weapon attached to the side of Jongdae’s waist easily. “It seems to be that he’s also in-charge of the dirty jobs.” The way the other lifts his hand to his temple, fingers curled to imitate the shape of a gun, Jongin knows exactly what Baekhyun is hinting at.

  
Yixing shifts aside the topmost paper just then, revealing a mugshot of another man. “This guy, we actually know quite a bit about already. More specifically, because of his father.” He taps on the face with a finger.   
  


“Kim Minseok, also known to their men as  _The King_.” Baekhyun circles the middle tip on the paper and inscribes the name on it. “Son to Kim Hwang Mun. You will recognize the name of the late congressman?”  
  


Jongin snorts and spares the other a judging look. “Of course. What do you take me for?” He scowls.  
  


“Apparently, Kim Hwang Mun was the head of EXO. Can you believe just how corrupted the former government was? With him dead, this makes this guy his heir.” Baekhyun scowls.  
  


“Kim Minseok controls all of their “ _legal_ ” businesses ––” The other folds both his index and middle fingers in the air at the word legal. “I say legal but we all know it really isn’t the case. It’s just that we have no concrete dirt on him so far.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “A well known entrepreneur himself, all of EXO’s known nightclubs are registered under his real name. He’s a public figure unlike the other two.”

  
“It was his lawyers that got the psychopath a pardoned sentence.” Yixing cuts in, shifting Minseok’s photo beside Jongdae’s mugshot. Jongin glances between the two faces. “We heard stories ––” Baekhyun nods too, chuckling, “–– that these two have a little something going on.” The latter smacks a blur photo of what looked like two men heavily involved in a make-out session a little too excitedly onto the desk. 

  
“I have the evidence~” He chimes in a sing-song voice as Yixing shakes his head slightly, already used to his boyfriend’s antics.  

  
Jongin grabs the pen from Baekhyun impatiently and hovers it around the blank space beside the remaining triangle point. “Not interested about that. Tell me about the last guy.”

  
It’s at this point that he picks up on the hesitance to speak from both Baekhyun and Yixing, a blanket of seriousness suddenly masking their previous demeanour. “What?” He asks in a soft voice, fingers already holding onto the next sheet of paper. Jongin knows it contains the identity of the remaining leader of EXO. Yet, for some reason, his eyes can’t seem to want to look down.

  
He can’t stand the silence. It’s unnerving.

  
“What?!” Jongin barks.

  
“H-He ––” Baekhyun clears his throat and starts over. “The last guy is often referred to as  _The Ghost_.”

  
Sensing Jongin’s brewing irritance, Yixing cuts in before he can yell at his boyfriend to spit it out already. “Simply because he’s never around, always the one hiding in the shadows. He coordinates their weapon distribution with the Chinese and he’s the one taking care of their trafficking of drugs as well ––”

  
“The drug lord? So he’s the fucker that keeps messing with me?” Jongin snorts, interjecting the other’s speech, paying more attention and taking more offense now, especially since EXO’s drug trafficking is his main area of investigation. “What’s his real na ––” He meant to ask his colleagues if they managed to dig out the real name of the man they call the ghost, but he finds his breath taken from him when he finally glances down at the papers in his hands.

  
It’s a very familiar face he sees, one he misses. Also, one that doesn’t make sense.

  
“W-What is this?” Jongin’s hand falls as he looks up slowly. “Is this a joke? A bad one, I must say.” He looks around, as if expecting to spot the cameras of this hidden camera prank. “How can it be ––” The younger’s voice falters when he notes the serious look on Yixing and Baekhyun’s faces. He knows they aren’t that cruel to be lying to him about this.

  
“K-Kyungsoo isn’t who you think he is, Jongin.” Baekhyun stares at him with worry; Jongin doesn’t know his hands were trembling that badly, and he lets go, though his eyes never once leave the photo of Kyungsoo’s face. He thought he knows everything about the other. He couldn’t be more wrong.  _How can it be…_  This is his best friend who knows of his open hatred towards the triads; his sweet, sweet Kyungsoo who has always been his constant from the day they met.

  
Suddenly, everything makes so much sense now –– why they were always a step late; why EXO had always done a one-up over them. It’s been Kyungsoo all along. Jongin thinks back to the many times he had lain with the other in his small bed, recounting his days, revealing their next efforts to spoil EXO’s plans. Kyungsoo always so attentive to his words. Now he knows why.

 

He used to think it is because he meant something to the elder, perhaps Kyungsoo cared for him more than a best friend would, that’s why the other always had a ready ear, offering words of encouragement as Jongin whines about his bad day. Now he wonders if it was all an act; if Kyungsoo had smirked behind his back, readily taking in all the confidential information he had divulged.

  
He feels so betrayed, cheated. Angry too, but more upset than anything.

  
 _Is what we have all a lie?_  Every stare, every touch exchanged, and every unspoken declaration of attraction. Did the other know of Jongin’s feelings for him, using it to his advantage, manipulating and getting close to him for his ultimate benefit?

  
He finds out in the most painful of ways that his feelings for Kyungsoo are like sold goods with a ‘no return and refund’ policy. Despite all the evidence laid out, Jongin still hopes and prays with all his heart that these are lies, and that his Kyungsoo is still  _his_  Kyungsoo, not some scheming, calculative drug lord; cold-blooded man of the Mafia.

  
Latched between the waves of emotion currently having their way with his mind and heart is also a sliver of fear borne from a dark chapter of his past.  
  


Jongin’s fingers shift to his neck unconsciously, and he starts pulling on the edges of his scarf, no intention to pull it off, but rather because of an anxious breakdown of sorts.  
  


The knowledge of Kyungsoo being one of  _them_ , Kyungsoo –– someone who he is so close with –– falling right along the lines of people he hates most in this world… it reminds him so much of his family’s death. Simultaneously, it triggers the memory of fear he felt that night he almost died along with them.  _Suffocating pain_.  
  


Concerned, Yixing quickly comes around to him and holds onto his shoulder. “Are you okay, Jongin? Breathe please.” He knows he must look like he’s about to have a panic attack; shifty eyes and hands grabbing at his throat like he  _can’t breathe_. The younger hasn’t had an episode like this for the longest time; he thought he was getting better already. He thought he was recovering.  
  


“Help him!” Jongin hears Baekhyun yelling at his boyfriend, feels the latter’s hand moving to his own around his neck. They must think removing his scarf would help calm him down. They weren’t to know that removing his shelter poses an even scarier thought to him.  
  


“No!” The younger slaps away their approaching hands, a crazed look in his eyes. “No.” He says in a softer voice, taking in deep, desperate breaths to try and regulate his breathing himself. His hands lay on his scarf protectively, pressing the cloth down against his skin even more.  
  


Because Yixing and Baekhyun must not know what lies underneath it; that the scarf hides Jongin’s demons. It’s somewhat cowardly that he chooses to hide his fear, but he will never go without the protection it offers. Psychologically, not physically.   
  


“I’m okay.” He says after the longest time, and at the lack of response he gets, Jongin knows the pair must be exchanging looks of disbelief above where he is slumped against his desk. “I’m okay.” He repeats, this time looking up at Baekhyun and Yixing with what he hopes is a convincing enough face.  
  


“Shall we?” He asks in total randomness, pushing his bottom off the chair, taking a moment to collect himself before jerking his head in the direction of their office’s doors.  
  


Startled, Baekhyun scurries after him as he makes his move, whereas Yixing chooses to first stow away the information they had found in his own locked cabinet, in case Sehun and Junmyeon chance upon the file. “Where are we going?” Baekhyun struggles into his coat, bumping into the back of Jongin when the man stops abruptly at reaching the room’s threshold. Yixing steps behind his boyfriend just then, the same question obvious in the depth of his eyes.  
  


“We are going to set things right, of course.” Jongin says in all seriousness before a small (albeit sad) smile breaks out on his face. His hand reaches into his pocket to retrieve his phone. Keying in the familiar set of numbers he has long since memorized, he presses the device to his ear.  
  


It doesn’t even take three rings for the other to pick up his call. Jongin would be lying if he says he doesn’t feel the pang in his chest hearing the voice greet him with his pet name.  
  


“Soo.” He pinches his eyes shut to disguise his conflicting feelings, hoping his voice doesn’t betray him. “Where are you now?”

 

===

  
The trio finds themselves back in front of the nightclub they had visited near a fortnight ago. The EX’ACT signboard lit up obnoxiously in neon green at the entrance was an eyesore, and this time they had opted to stand in queue, not wanting to make such a dramatic attempt at a stealth entry like previously.  
  


“You really want to do this now?” Jongin can hear the worry in Baekhyun’s voice, the latter has kept a concerned eye on him ever since they left headquarters.  
  


To be honest, he admits he is  _not_  okay despite the strong front he tries to put up. He fiddles with his scarf anxiously. Jongin is still reeling from the revelation that Kyungsoo was part of the Mafia. He had doubted the truth, but his call with the other earlier –– the conversation in which Kyungsoo had lied to him, it added validation to the truth.   
  


Jongin’s heart had shattered.  
  


_“Ni? It’s almost dinnertime now… I hope you’re taking a break from the case and eating on time?” He hears Kyungsoo’s sweet nagging, can almost make out the other frowning into the phone on the other side of the line. Jongin feels the walls of his heart constrict achingly. This… this is the Kyungsoo he knows (and loves)._   
  


_The information, evidence, he had just learnt depicted another persona for him altogether. The contradiction confuses him so much._   
  


_“Soo.” Jongin pinches his eyes shut to disguise his conflicting feelings, hoping his voice doesn’t betray him. “Where are you now?”_

  
_“Me?” The younger waits patiently for the sudden static he hears to pass. “Just about to go downstairs and start on a new batch of tea macarons. Why?” Kyungsoo pauses slightly. “You coming over? Thought you had no time?”_   
  


_Jongin’s face, heart and entirety falls because Yixing who has been tracking the other’s phone call via satellite shakes his head beside him to signal the other’s lie. He stares at the screen of the laptop his fellow cop spins around, honing in on the location map. Kyungsoo was lying –– he’s at Apjugeong now, his home all the way across the Han river in Hongdae._   
  


_“Nah… Was just checking up on you.” Jongin says in a soft, careful voice. “Think we’re pulling another all-nighter.” He gives a faux sigh._   
  


_“Don’t be too hard on yourself. I can’t always be there to baby you, you know.” Kyungsoo chuckles softly into the phone. “I’ll bake you all the chocolate cakes you want at our next sleepover.” The other promises._   
  


_Jongin fists his hands and stares at the ground stubbornly; he can feel his two friends’ worried eyes training on him, but he doesn’t want them to see the beads of tears crowding up in his own pair. Kyungsoo’s last words had struck him right where it hurts –– the realization that they will never be able to go back to what they were, what they had together, after this truth on the other’s identity had been spilled. “You better.” He almost chokes out._   
  


_Kyungsoo chuckles and bids him goodbye with a soft, “See you soon, Ni”, to which Jongin replicates his greeting, but in a voice lined with more steel than fondness._   
  


_“I’ll see you real soon.”_   
  


_He has made up his mind finally. He wants to end this chapter in his life soon, as quickly as possible so that his hurt isn’t prolonged for an unnecessary amount of time. He needs to get over Kyungsoo fast, because he being one of them just doesn’t sit right with him. Tonight preferably. He will end things._   
  


_Jongin hopes the other doesn’t catch on from his colder than usual tone that his soon was probably much sooner than Kyungsoo would have anticipated._    
  


Once they had been granted access, the trio makes for the bar, eyes surveying the crowd hoarding the dance floor. If EX’ACT is really one of the names in the chain of nightclubs owned by Kim Minseok, they have to be more careful (unlike the previous time when they had absolutely no knowledge of it) because members of EXO could be in the form of anyone in here.  
  


“That bartender is staring at me creepily. Let’s go somewhere else.” Baekhyun tries to shout above the volume of the bass pounding off the walls. Yixing actually wraps a protective arm around his boyfriend’s waist and pulls him closer to his side, glaring until the said bartender recoils and distracts himself with serving another patron. The older cop smirks victoriously. Jongin barely pays attention, mind still too warped over the thought of one person, and that one person only.  
  


“Kyungsoo’s around here somewhere.” He drags Yixing, and inadvertently Baekhyun, along the edge of the dancing mob and deeper into the club. “Jongdae and Minseok might very well be here too. Keep your eyes out.” Jongin’s hand creeps to his gun holster as a cautionary measure as he leads them past booths occupied by people either making out or knocking back alcohol. “We will scout the second floor in a bit.”   
  


It was Baekhyun who first spotted something attention-worthy. “That’s Kim Minseok!” He hisses, drawing the focus of the other two. “Back there on the couch near the exit sign.” Jongin slides forward along the wall slowly.  _Indeed._  He spots the childlike face of the man, though the fat cigar he smokes betrays his real age.  _No doubt, the King indeed._  Just by looking at his appearance and the aura around him, Kim Minseok reeks of regality.  
  


Bottles of wine lay abandoned on the table before him, glasses half-filled scattered across the surface. His eyes were drooping at half-mast, and Jongin isn’t sure if it’s because he’s drunk, high or pleasured. There were drugs left out in the open as well, even some white powder remaining on the surface of the table where he must have had his fun just before the trio’s arrival.  _Gotcha!_  Jongin smirks at the beneficial find, which has paved the way for their authorization to arrest.  
  


Minseok had company too. Unlike the two woman attached to his sides, one who was mouthing lewdly at his bare chest no thanks to the unbuttoned top, and the other who was whispering into his ear, Jongin stares particularly at the third stranger –– a man slumped lazily in his spot some way away from the threesome, long legs kicked out and resting on the edge of the table as he occupies himself with his phone. Judging by his appearance, Jongin prematurely labels him to be part of the mafia as well. Who else would be in Minseok’s company otherwise?

 

“We can take him in.” Yixing whispers into Jongin’s ear, referring to the leader. “There’s the evidence we needed. Being in the possession of drugs itself will put him in for a few years. We can add on to his count later.” Baekhyun nods. They came here looking for Kyungsoo initially, but since they have yet to spot him, getting the chance to arrest one of the other leaders of EXO is proving to be equally (if not more) tempting.  
  


“Okay.” Jongin murmurs before walking towards their target. To no one’s knowledge, he can’t say he isn’t a little glad the first person they are going to arrest isn’t Kyungsoo. Baekhyun and Yixing flank him in support as they approach the group. “You keep your gun trained on the giant. Baek, you watch our backs. I’ll take the King.” Jongin starts off by giving commands.

 

They were so close now, but none of them had noticed the three cops yet. Just before Jongin can take a step further and make their presence known, he falters at what he sees to the side of the group. The trio didn’t have view of the small room adjacent to the couch from their previous position along the hallway. Now, even if he wants to unsee, the black string curtain doesn’t shield him from spotting the undeniable outline of Kyungsoo sitting with his front facing him, a scantily clad woman straddled in his lap, kissing him.  
  


Jongin doesn’t know if his heart breaks again because Kyungsoo’s presence is testament to the fact that the other had lied to him and is indeed part of the mafia, or is it because he was holding someone else possessively, kissing them fervently, and Jongin wished he was that someone (though he thinks it will never be possible).  
  


 _Why am I wishing that again?_  He questions himself, not without already knowing the answer. He shakes his head.  
  


All he knows is that he has had enough and he just can’t do it right now; he isn’t in the right frame of mind to try and bring in these criminals.  
  


Jongin must have let out a broken cry when he turns on his heel to walk away, because he vaguely hears Baekhyun call out to him. A deep voice shouting “Hey!” also pierces the air, but he ignores it. In his desperate rush to get away from the pain, he doesn’t see how Kyungsoo startles at having spotted them; panics at seeing his retreating back, pushing the woman off him.

  
Jongin does hear footsteps coming after him and the familiar “Jongin” called out by the very person he was trying to avoid as he finally escapes the suffocating racket and stifling void in the club, pushing his way out into the quiet, empty alley.  
  


“Jongin!” The voice was much closer now. “Stop, please.”  
  


“Let go of me.” The younger wrangles his wrist free when Kyungsoo grabs at it to turn him around.  
  


“It’s not what it looks like, Jongin. Please.” The latter stares at him with so much desperation in his eyes, that Jongin almost wants to give him a chance to explain himself.  
  


“I think I got the message quite clear just now. What with her tongue almost down your throat and all.” He sneers before adding the words “You traitor!” with so much venom in his voice. Kyungsoo flinches, and Jongin almost feels bad.  
  


“I can’t believe I trusted you. I can’t believe I fell in love with my best friend who is also the biggest liar in the entire world.” He yells and takes another step away, stowing his gun back into his holster.  _I can’t do this right now._  He knows he should be apprehending the other, but he just can’t do it.  
  


Jongin groans when a force he doesn’t know resides in Kyungsoo slams him against the bricked wall. “Don’t you dare run after saying something like that.” The elder says calmly. Jongin glares down at the latter, but doesn’t shift himself out of their position –– Kyungsoo has an arm pressing his chest (hence body) back against the wall, the other hand resting on the wall beside Jongin’s left cheek.  
  


“What?! Are you going to find even more excuses to deny that you’re part of the mafia? I know, Kyungsoo. Okay? I know who you really are! I hate myself for not realizing earlier, almost as much as to the extent I hate your kind.”  
  


To his utter confusion, the other doesn’t look angry or surprised at his admission. In fact, Kyungsoo’s lips are curling up into a bright smile.

  
 _What in the world?_  “Why are you smiling? I’m saying I hate you!” The younger scowls.

 

“You’re in love with me?” A look of delight washes over Kyungsoo’s face.  
  


 _S_ _hit. Did I say that?_  Jongin panics internally. “N-No,  _I_ –– yes, I-I mean… That’s not the point!” He rushes out hurriedly. “The point is you’re a fucking leader of EX ––”

  
“Good! Because I’m in love with you too, Kim Jongin. Have been for the longest time now, really.” Kyungsoo interjects, stunning him into silence.

  
“W-What?” Jongin stutters out stupidly after taking a moment to comprehend what the other has just said.

  
“We can finally stop dancing around each other already, Ni.” The other leans his face closer.  _Too close._  Jongin hopes the heat he feels isn’t that of his cheeks blushing up a storm. This isn’t it. This spin on things wasn’t one he was expecting. How did this situation end up as a confession of sorts?

  
“You don’t mean that.” He says weakly. “You can’t just say that and expect everything to be fine again.” He sees the sincerity in the way the other’s beautiful eyes blind him with gratification; he tries to reject that, but he knows his selfish feelings want to jump up and down in joy. “You’re trying to throw me off. You’re just saying that so I will cave like the weak man you know me to be and you’ll get off scot-free.” Kyungsoo shakes his head in desperate denial, but Jongin mumbles on in his overall panic.

  
“I’m not part of th––  _argh,_  You’re not seeing the big picture!” The former growls in irritation.

  
“Then help me see it!” Jongin screams. “Help me understand, because you’re a fucking nutjob, okay? You confuse me so much, I don’t even know who you are ––”  

  
Both men jolt in shock when the door to the club swings open with so much force that it hits the adjacent wall with a loud bang. Baekhyun dashes out the next second, dragging out a battle cry as he crashes into Kyungsoo on purpose, separating him from Jongin. “Baek!” The latter yells when Baekhyun comes to stand in front of him, whipping out his gun and pointing it right at Kyungsoo’s chest. “Step away from my friend, you fiend!”

  
Jongin should feel touched, but he’s really just afraid that the other would fire at Kyungsoo. The latter’s raises both his arms in the air slowly, eyes never once leaving Jongin’s face. “I’m fine. He didn’t do anything to me.”  _Apart from turning all my feelings into a mess, that is._  The younger cop reassures Baekhyun, choosing to turn away temporarily from his source of conflicting emotions. “Where’s Yixing?” He asks.  
  


“Taking care of Minseok. We managed to knock out his bodyguard. Thankfully, the man’s still a little out of it because of the narcotics.” Baekhyun’s grip on his gun tightens when Kyungsoo takes a step forward, foot crunching the gravel.  
  


“Hey, relax.” The other’s arms were still raised in surrender, but a look of worry has made its way onto his face. Jongin frowns. “I’m just trying to warn you that it probably isn’t a good idea to leave your friend alone in there.” Kyungsoo says it with such sincerity though. Jongin’s frown deepens; he doesn’t understand why the other is acting nice all of a sudden.   
  


“W-Why’s that?” Baekhyun falters.  
  


The answer comes in the form of Yixing’s body being flung out of the club, crumpling into a heap on the ground beside the two cops. “Xing!” Baekhyun yells in alarm at the sight of his boyfriend’s groggy, unresponsive self, hurrying over to his side at once. Yixing was still alive though, struggling to regain control over his own body, emitting soft groans here and there. “What did you do to him!” The shorter demands to know.

  
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jongin whips out his gun at once and points it at the man stepping out from the shadows. The same weapon appears in Kyungsoo’s hands all of a sudden, and Jongin is disappointed to see its muzzle directed at him. It’s cheshire cat man –– the Joker, Kim Jongdae –– all eyes are on him as he practically prances over to Kyungsoo’s side, hand twirling his own gun loosely. “Who are our guests, Soo?” The man swings a too-friendly arm around Kyungsoo and smiles over at Jongin and Baekhyun, even adding in a big wave. He was too cheery, too happy for some reason. It’s disturbing.   
  


Jongin glares. Only he is allowed to call Kyungsoo that.  
  


“Cops.” The addressed man sneers, retrieving his phone from his back pocket and busying himself with it for a couple of seconds before putting it away again.  _Texting like we aren’t engaged in a standoff? Unbelievable._  Jongin blinks. “Pathetic rats, aren’t they? Thinking they have a chance in  _our_  territory.” He eyes Kyungsoo incredulously, in disbelief at his total one-eighty change in personality. Where was the guy who one minute ago was confessing his love for him and had seemed genuinely worried about Yixing’s well-being when he had heard Baekhyun had left him in the club alone. Jongin doesn’t recognize this Kyungsoo. Baekhyun looks equally taken aback at his sudden change in character.   
  


_Who are you, really?_   
  


Jongdae actually makes a big show of squinting at Jongin before straightening up from his slouch. “Eyyy! It’s the flower boy with the pretty scarf! I remember you from last time!” He scowls at the finger Jongdae points at him, one hand creeping up to touch said scarf subconsciously, the action almost like a reminder to him that his safety net is still there. “How did you like the packet I slipped you last time?” The other winks obnoxiously.   
  


“What did you do to Yixing?!” Baekhyun decides to ignore Jongdae’s comments and repeats his initial question.  
  


“An eye for an eye.” The smile slips off Jongdae’s face abruptly, making way for a more serious, menacing expression. “You hurt Minseok, I hurt your lover, honey. It’s only fair.”    
  


“You fucking swine!” Baekhyun had only stood up from where he’d been crouched beside Yixing; no one knew who fired the first shot. He went down, clutching at his wounded arm. Jongin curses and places himself in between his teammates and the pair. It was an extremely unfavorable circumstance –– he was outnumbered, and he had the responsibility to get his injured friends out of there safely. Jongin berates himself for not calling in backup, or at least informing Sehun and Junmyeon of their plan to confront EXO’s leaders. They had been stupidly naïve thinking they were adept enough.  
  


“Nice shot.” Jongdae cheers, his raised hand was holding onto a gun, but Jongin finds to his horror that it was Kyungsoo who had fired at Baekhyun. His gun switches target at once. The latter locks eyes with him just then, and Jongin wants to hate him, but he sees the conflicted look Kyungsoo sends him. He doesn’t know what to make of it so he doesn’t pull the trigger.   
  


Maybe some part of him still looks out for Kyungsoo.  
  


“Now for the last man standing.” Jongdae smirks and points his gun at Jongin.  _This is it._  The younger tenses, knowing that his time is up; a split second would be too slow for him to re-train his gun on Jongdae. He waits for the other’s bullet to rip through his flesh, only hoping it’s a clean strike.

  
It was then that a flurry of things happened at the same time.

  
Jongin first hears a loud shout of “Police! Stop and put your hands in the air!” then sees his captain, Sehun, with Junmyeon not far behind him, dashing towards them from the mouth of the alley. He next watches as Kyungsoo lunges at Jongdae, a look of surprise taking over the latter’s face as he considers why his fellow leader was stopping him from shooting at Jongin.

  
The shrewd man must have caught onto Kyungsoo’s betrayal fairly quickly for a determined look sets on his face. In the midst of their struggle, fumbling with Jongdae’s gun in his hand, Jongin hesitates to shoot because he doesn’t want to risk hitting Kyungsoo.

  
A gun still goes off anyway.  
  


He looks down, half-expecting a patch of blood to form on whichever part of his body that had been shot. But the physical pain never came. Jongin looks back up and feels the blood drain from his face when he sees Kyungsoo stilling, Jongdae pushing the other off him with a disgusted grimace, and the man sliding down to the ground.

  
A silent scream of his love’s name rips through his throat as he disregards everything and runs to Kyungsoo. Jongin doesn’t see Jongdae running past him and back into the club, cackling his head off. Sehun follows right after him, while Junmyeon goes to Baekhyun and Yixing. Jongin’s heart only chooses to focus and revolve around what his heart wants.  
  


“Oh my god, Soo.” He holds back his tears when he spots the open wound, already spilling too much blood on the right side of Kyungsoo’s stomach. No matter if the latter was part of the enemy ( _is he really though?_  Jongin ponders), no matter if he is supposed to hate him, it all doesn’t stand for anything anymore because time and time again, Jongin finds himself incapable of taking back the piece of his heart he has given to the elder. “You’re going to be fine.” He chokes out, sounding unsure even to his own ears.

  
Kyungsoo was smiling up at him though, raising a weak hand to wipe at his tears. “You can’t leave me.” Jongin begs. “Not when I have so many questions still left unanswered.” He glances around frantically, searching for anything to press against the wound, to slow down the blood loss. Nothing. He finds nothing. “You haven’t even told me who you really are. Are you really a bad guy? Why would you take the bullet for me then?” He blubbers on.  
  


 _Oh._  He gets a eureka moment all of a sudden, and Jongin’s hand slides up to his neck. The younger unravels his scarf without hesitation and holds it firmly, yet gently, against Kyungsoo’s skin. He sees the way Kyungsoo glances at his bare neck; he sees the many questions flashing past in the other’s eyes as he takes in the horrible scar carved into Jongin’s beautiful skin for the very first time. Even though he has just revealed his weakness, fear and insecurities, Jongin doesn’t feel belittled or scared under Kyungsoo’s stare.

  
“Ni…” The pain was evident in the dying man’s voice, but he ends up not prying into the origin of the scar; the younger’s horrific past. With the time ticking as he draw closer to the deadline, Kyungsoo’s hand slides down to caress Jongin’s neck. The latter flinches, but only a little, and he leans into Kyungsoo’s touch the next second. 

  
“I’ll just answer your one question… I hope it suffices to address the rest.” The elder’s face scrunches up in pain as he blinks slowly.

  
“Just know that Do Kyungsoo was a good man who fell in love with his best friend,” He pauses slightly, “but whose only fault and ultimate regret is not telling him how much he loves him earlier.”  
  


Jongin chokes out a sob.  
  


“I love you, Kim Jongin.” Kyungsoo smiles a small one, and then he lets his eyes fall shut.  
  


===  
  


**White roses - When the occasion calls for reverence, a bouquet of white rose is a perfect way to say, “I’m thinking of you.” In other circumstances, white also represents the pureness of a new love.**   
  


===  
  


Flowers. A dozen white roses.  
  


Jongin rearranges the messy stalks of the bouquet and drops back into his seat.  
  


“I miss you, Soo.”

  
He stares down at his fingers entwined with the other’s own. “I'm so sorry.” Jongin lifts the weak hand up to his mouth and presses his lips against the back of Kyungsoo's hand. It has been a long week; the warmth of the other’s skin isn't what he remembers it to be.  
  


_“Kyungsoo is not the enemy, Jongin. You’ve got it all wrong.” Sehun says in an exasperated voice. “Has never been. In fact, he is one of the most loyal persons I have had the pleasure to meet and work with!” The captain grabs Jongin’s collar and shakes it furiously, only releasing it and shoving him backwards against the hospital walls after he has calmed down somewhat._

  
_Work with?_   
  


_“I don't get it.” Jongin says in a weak voice. He finds himself saying, thinking, those words quite often these days._   
  


_“I can't believe you guys. Three of my best men acting like they've just gone bonkers, acting on impulse without following the proper protocols, being so damn dumb.” Jongin keeps his head down while Sehun berates him. Yixing and Baekhyun are off duty and have been resting in their apartment the past couple of days, so he was the only one bearing the brunt of his boss’ scolding._   
  


_“You jeopardized everything!” The captain jabs an angry finger at Jongin’s chest. “What we've worked on, build on, for the past couple of years… How Kyungsoo has sacrificed his time, morals and put at risk his life. You fucking idiot almost destroyed all our hard work!” He probably saw that punch coming. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt less._   
  


_Jongin frowns before he looks up at the other with a confused tilt of his head, thumb wiping at the edge of his probably split lip._   
  


_“You don't get it, do you?” Sehun snorts. “Kyungsoo IS the informant. He’s the source of our information to the triads. Remember when he dropped out of the police academy?” Jongin blinks in response. “Kyungsoo didn't actually drop out, Jongin. He was topping the cohort! I pulled him out and gave him this undercover mission because I trusted his abilities and loyalty fully.”_   
  


_Jongin doesn't know how he is still standing from this revelation. He feels his legs going weak. “U-Undercover mission?” He stutters._   
  


_“Yes! He's a cop! My best one yet!” Sehun throws his hands in the air, like he's fed up waiting for Jongin to catch up._   
  


_Jongin’s hand scratches at his neck anxiously. He hasn’t even realized he’d gone a week now without wearing a scarf –– without hiding from his demons. Since Kyungsoo isn’t part of the mafia, in that case, the younger figures he now has no reasons to claim that he hates the other. With that wall down, Jongin’s heart is free._   
  


_“But, wait. If he’s on our side, why did he thwart so many of my attempts to crack down on their drug deals?” He just needed answers to his final questions to seal all his suspicions and doubts away._   
  


_“Because the timing wasn’t right.” Sehun glares at him. “Kyungsoo worked his way up and gained the trust of Kim Minseok and Kim Jongdae in a very short space of time. We were building up to a grand finale. You were trying to ruin that success.” The other adds the last bit a second later, and Jongin whispers his apologies awkwardly._

  
_“He saved your life plenty, Kim Jongin, and you don’t even know it. Even back there at the alley, he must have shot Baekhyun in the arm because Jongdae was just a split-second away from putting a bullet through his skull. That crazy man isn’t so forgiving, mind you. If Kyungsoo didn’t text to alert me to your whereabouts, you three would have been silently disposed off, and we would have been none the wiser.”_

  
_Sehun narrows his eyes at him. “I don’t know what he sees in you… to time and time again go out of his way to protect you, keeping you safe from exposure.” Jongin looks back down at his feet sadly. “He told me Jongdae almost saw you one time when you came over to his place unannounced?” The captain makes a noise of disapproval.  
_

_  
“I hope you apologize sincerely.” Jongin looks up at the other and finds himself hearing words of advice, not from a superior, but more from a friend. “You don’t get to treat someone who loves you so much like that.” Sehun adds._

  
_Jongin nods. “I’m giving you two a month’s rest to sort things out.” His head jerks up at the captain’s words. “A well-deserved break now that we’ve finally apprehended Jongdae and Minseok.” Sehun was finally smiling. “Go on in then. Kyungsoo has no one but you. You shouldn’t leave his side for long.” The other gives him a parting nod before spinning on his heels and walking away._

  
_He’s right. The edges of Jongin’s lips curl up as he hurriedly makes his way back into the hospital room. Kyungsoo has always only had Jongin for the better part of his life; it’s unimaginable to think what would happen if he were to leave the other too._

  
_So he promises not to._   
  


_Ever._   
  


“When will you wake up, Soo?” He uses the sleeping man’s hand to cup his own cheeks, nuzzling his face into Kyungsoo’s palm. “I have so much to say to you still.”

  
“Like what?” A voice so soft makes its way to his ears. Jongin almost thinks he is imagining it.  
  


“Like how I’m so sorry for doubting you. But mostly also how I must be so stupid to not have told you yet just how much I love you.” He replies without thought, only to jolt in shock and look down the next instant, meeting eyes with his beloved Kyungsoo. A very much awake Kyungsoo.  
  


“Soo?” Jongin asks in disbelief.   
  


“Say that again.” The elder was smiling up at him, though a slight grimace still betrays his discomfort caused by his weakened body.   
  


“I’m sorry for doubting you?” Jongin supplies, though he himself also knows that’s not the answer Kyungsoo is looking for. But he ignores the shy blush he knows must be on his cheeks, and continues to spew apologies. “I’m sorry for even harboring the thought that you were one of them. I hate the mafia with all I have; I almost wanted to hate you too. If only I knew you were a cop undercover. Forgive me, Soo. I can’t believe I even questioned your moral character.”  

  
“I forgive you.” Kyungsoo says softly, before a cute pout makes its way onto his face. Jongin, who happened to have glanced down at the other’s lips just then, blinks rapidly and wills his face to not grow even redder. It seems to be having the opposite effect though. “But you know I wasn’t referring to that.” He hears the teasing tone in Kyungsoo’s voice, and he knows he should put an end to this –– all these skirting around each other, playing around with their feelings, stalling the inevitable.

  
They needed to start afresh, under the right relationship label of course –– not just best friends anymore, but as lovers. Jongin takes in a deep breath. “Do Kyungsoo!” His volume startles the said male a little, and the younger had to pause to whisper apologies and words of concern when Kyungsoo jolts, disturbing his healing injury. “Do Kyungsoo.” Jongin clears his throat awkwardly and tries again. 

  
“Back then in that alley, you confessed your love for me. Then you gave me the shock of my life when I thought you died without giving me the chance to say my piece as well.” He decides to be brave and look Kyungsoo in the eye, smiling when he sees the elder staring back at him with equal parts fondness and utmost gravity.  
  


“I dare say I knew what I felt for you from when we started hanging out right after you left the academy. But I am a fool and coward to only have enough confidence to say it out loud now. I’m not good at expressing myself, so listen carefully when I say this ––” The smile on Kyungsoo’s face was only growing wider and wider. Jongin thinks his own expression mirrors that of the other.   
  


“I love you, Do Kyungsoo.”  
  


He brushes the elder’s fringe away from his eyes tenderly and leans closer, Kyungsoo remains still and unmoving under his careful touch. “I’ll quite like to kiss you now, if I may?” Jongin hovers above the other, waiting for permission. His heart was already thrumming in his chest –– with anticipation and the urgent need to have its way. 

  
“I’ll only say this... what took you so long to ask?” Kyungsoo croaks out with his parched throat, but he delights in the way the younger shifts forward to  _finally_ slot their lips together.   
  


It would be an exaggeration to describe their first kiss as fireworks and sparkles decorating a night sky. But the way Jongin hums and nibbles at his bottom lip, both of them kissing languidly, like this is the start to their forever together –– it’s the feeling one gets when coming home.   
  


You feel safe. You feel loved. You feel it’s  _meant to be_.   
  


  
===  
  
 _The End._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave your comments on what you thought of the fic <3


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